


Rise.

by caesar



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canon Compliant, Historia Centric, Really just post 100 but tagging for spoiler safety, kind of, mostly canon compliant at least, post-114
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-03
Updated: 2019-03-03
Packaged: 2019-11-08 16:13:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17984414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caesar/pseuds/caesar
Summary: At every turning point in her life, she must rise.





	Rise.

**Author's Note:**

> i got the idea for this from the captain marvel trailer when they show her standing up consistently. this imagery of rising really struck me and for some reason, all i could think of is historia and her roller coaster of a life.
> 
> this is my take on what would be running through historia’s mind during these pivotal moments of her life. there’s two that aren’t strictly in the canon, but i’m sure similar events would have happened.

When she was a child, she watched her mother get killed in front of her after wishing she hadn’t ever given birth to Historia.

 

She remembers the fear that coursed through her, petrifying her as blood pools around her mother’s corpse. They turned to her, ready to slaughter a child, until her father intervened. After the knife is pulled from her own throat, she collapsed to her knees, shaken to her core.

 

“Get up. You’re lucky to be walking away at all,” one of the men growled at her, shoving past her and knocking her down. She was her hands and knees, staring at the cold ground.

 

Her mother was dead. Her father didn’t see her as his own.

 

She didn’t exist; Christa Lenz did.

 

“I’m not repeating myself, kid. Get up or I’ll make you get up.”

 

She looked up at the men who look at her with disdain and disgust. She had no other option, so she took a deep breath.

 

She rose.

 

* * *

 

When she joined the military, she tried to forget who Historia Reiss was.

 

She lied to everyone. Even Ymir, who saw through her.

 

“Christa, you’re my sparring partner,” Mikasa came up to the pair.

 

Ymir threw her arm around Historia, pulling her close to her side. “Like hell. She’s always my partner.”

 

She knew better than to believe just the quip alone, and she felt a little insulted that Ymir didn’t think she could take Mikasa. Realistically, she knew that as well, but she wanted to at least be given the chance to try.

 

Mikasa’s gray eyes shone as she looked to Ymir, and then to Historia. “Shadis instructed me to spar with her. You’re taking Annie.”

 

Ymir’s jaw tightened. “Fine. Hurt her and I’ll come find you, Mikasa.”

 

Historia wanted to roll her eyes. Mikasa took a stance a few feet away from her, her arms up defensively. Historia mirrored her, trying to think of how to account for the obvious size difference. Mikasa had more muscle, more height, and skill on her side. Historia knew how to defend, but not how to attack.

 

In a flash of quick movements, Mikasa nearly made her fall forward, having elbowed her in the back. The wind was knocked sharply from her, pain radiating from her chest. She whirled around, reality coming back to her. Mikasa was not holding back. When she was charged again, she managed to dodge Mikasa and even make her stumble. Mikasa realized her mistake and recovered almost instantly, grabbing Historia’s arm and pulling, flipping the blonde onto her back.

 

For a second, she laid there, her heartbeat pounding in her ears. The sky was clear above her, and a few birds flew past overhead. She heard the murmurs of her peers commenting on how she’s no match for Mikasa, and distantly Ymir cursed. No one believed in her, knowing she didn’t stand a chance against the top ranking cadet. Ymir said her name.

 

Christa.

 

Historia didn’t believe in Christa, but if the others started to, maybe she could learn to as well.

 

“Again,” she said as she sat upright. Mikasa’s eyes glinted, understanding. She took a defensive stance again while Historia nodded.

 

Again, she rose.

 

* * *

 

When she revealed her true name, she didn’t anticipate a positive response.

 

However, she also didn’t expect Captain Levi to nearly strangle her choice out of her.

 

“If you don’t like it, fight. Beat me back.”

 

His words resonated deep within her, reaching into her, and forcing out her resolve. His steely eyes bore into hers as he held her up, his rough hands gripping her tightly. She held his wrists as if she could keep him from tightening his hold, his lean arms surprisingly warm under her hands despite his cold words. As easily as he lifted her off the ground, he let go of her. She crumbled on the floor and struggled to catch her breath, a fast war being lost within her mind. He talked, saying things to her friends, words she didn’t listen to until he said her name.

 

Her real name.

 

“It’s all up to you, Historia.” She looked up at him with wide eyes, and he was glaring down at her. “Follow? Or fight? I don’t care which, just...” He was suddenly beside her, kneeling on the dirty floor, his hand on her head to keep her from looking anywhere else. So, she shut her eyes defiantly, squeezing them shut as he yelled at her in a threatening voice. “ _Choose_ _one_ _right_ _now!_ _We_ _don’t_ _have_ _any_ _time!_ ”

 

Panic.

 

“ _I’ll_ _do_ _it!_ ”

 

The words leave her mouth before she realizes what she’s saying, and then it was too late to turn back. “The next role...I have to play is queen?” She opened her eyes, wild and unfocused. “Fine. Leave it to me.”

 

She looked up at him as he got to his feet, his stony demeanor returning. “...all right.” He held out his hand to her. She put her hand in his, and he tightened his hold as he pulled. What startled her was how gentle this was compared to his vice-like grip before. He says one more word to her.

 

“Stand.”

 

With his help, she rose.

 

* * *

 

When she became Queen, she could hear the many excited words throughout the crowd.

 

“...she ended his tyranny...”

 

“...saved us from such a big titan with such a tiny body?”

 

“...true ruler of the Walls.”

 

When the crown was placed on her head, she buried Christa for good. She looked up at Zackley, who was smiling at her, pleased things had gone the way he planned. She wondered what that felt like. She took a deep breath, preparing to face the crowd of civilians and military personnel before her.

 

Putting her right fist over her chest, dedicating her heart, she rose.

 

* * *

 

Historia sat on the porch of the farm, belly swollen with new life growing within.

 

A war was being fought without her, people dying and killing, and her future decided by others.

 

She sighed.

 

Always feeling like a pawn, never the queen she’s crowned to be.

 

“I can’t believe this,” she said to no one in particular, rubbing a hand over her belly absently. She wondered about what Eren had planned, and how other people will react to him. He’s become more volatile, impossibly more determined as the years have passed. She hoped the rest of her friends were safe even if it wasn’t possible to realistically hope for such a thing. She may not be close with any of them, but after losing so much, the idea of losing them too just hurt more than she wanted to deal with.

 

A kick from within her womb startled her out of her reverie of thoughts, and she couldn’t keep the small smile from her face.

 

She didn’t want this pregnancy, but that didn’t mean that she didn’t learn to treasure this life beneath her fingertips. She didn’t want her title as Queen either, but she had resolved to carry out her duty given to her.

 

The sun was setting.

 

“One day, maybe you’ll be free to make the choices in your life I didn’t get to make,” she spoke into the air, wondering if the little life could hear her. She hummed as she felt the baby kick again as if responding.

 

She sighed again, trying to distract herself from the war that’s upon her doorstep. When it comes, she will be ready.

 

She will rise.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you feel as struck as i did. thank you for reading!
> 
> much love


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